Once upon a time, a not-so-very-long time ago, there lived a fairy princess who was the princess of SPRING!! As you can imagine, she was the mostest beautifulest fairy princess ever and everyone loved her very much. Not only was she heartbreakingly beautiful in the way that only fairies can be, but she was also the kindest and the sweetest and the bestest of them all. EVER. Believe me; it is true. Also, in addition to her beautifulness and hottness and kindness and sweetness and such, she was the fairy in CHARGE of bringing spring , which–if you live in a cold, desolate place like Alaska–you know is a really mother-fucking important job.
So. Enter conflict: