If I had a leopard
I’d take him for walks
In the park.
And no one would pester
Or bother or bug me
After dark.
And I would be happy
As free as could be;
I’d be proud.
For I would have no one,
Not no one to fear …
Except my leopard.
— Jessica Mannion, appx. 1990
You could totally set that to “If I had a hammer” ! It would go platinum:
If I had a leopard,
I’d walk him in the morning, I’d walk him in the evening
All over the park.
And no one would pester!
No one would bother! Or bug or irritate me
Aaafter dark
You get the idea.
Dammit, Dmitri! Now I have that song going through my head!! š